The Write Journey

Restoration of Dreams

As I said in my last post, where there's a will, there's a way. This is especially true when you have friends willing to help you in whatever way they can. Thanks to some suggestions posted here by one friend, I found an affofdable (and yes, legitimate) way to get the entire Adobe Creative Suite.

Or should that be SWEET!? :)

Thanks, Dude. You rock!

- The WheelMan

The Frustrations of Dreaming

It's funny how one's perspective can change in nearly the blink of an eye. After being intently focused on my writing career for a few years now (and I still am, by the way), in the last week or so I've found myself yearning more and more to get back into my roots, so to speak--my artwork. Art was my first love since childhood, and something I also did a lot of early in my computer life, even before home printers and computers were capable of producing the high quality output they can today. I've got art done with markers and colored pencils, as well as drawings produced by computer programs written in BASIC. I've just always been fascinated by the process of picturing things in my mind and then seeing them come to life on the page.

So last week, while my family and I were on vacation in Helen, GA, I stopped into a Book Warehouse store and bought the Photoshop CS Bible with the express hopes of upgrading from Photoshop Elements to Photoshop CS very soon. Then I found out that CS retails for $649, and that the special upgrade price from Photoshop Elements costs $499. Hence the frustrations.

I'm already hoping to buy a new desktop soon, and possibly a new notebook (hopefully an Apple PoweBook) sometime afterward. But add to that the cost of this software, which is as much as a decent computer in itself, and it all just seems so damn impossible! How is one supposed to pursue dreams and attempt to better themselves when you live in a world that places such an exorbitant monetary value on the very things you need? And don't even think about getting the Adobe Creative Suites package, which contains all of Adobe's top products, because it's over ELEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! When things are priced so high that the average joe (or jane) can't afford to purchase wonderful products such as these, it's no wonder that software piracy is so widespread around the world. Myself, I want legit copies of the software, and have no desire to cheat anyone of their well deserved royalties. And yet, something's just not right when only those who are already fairly privileged financially can easily go out and acquire the very things that could make such a huge difference and improvement in the lives of the not-so-wealthy people like myself, who merely want an equal shot at pursuing their dreams.

They say that "where there's a will, there's a way," and I firmly believe that. Still, it doesn't make the harsh realities of the steep climb my will faces less troublesome. But like every other life-challenge I've faced, I'll overcome this one too. And maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be in a position to make things easier for others like myself, who's only offense is daring to have such lofty dreams.

- The WheelMan

Agony and Thrills

I watched the Women's Olympic Marathon this morning, a grueling 26 mile race mostly uphill through beautiful countryside, ironically beginning in the town of Marathon, Greece, where the sport was invented. It's fascinating to watch the determination, the sheer strength of will it takes to put your body through that kind of ordeal.

Great Britain's Paula Radcliffe was the favorite, and started out very strong. She led or was just behind the leader for the first 18 miles or so, and seemed to set the pace at which the other 8-10 front runners seemed content to follow. But then Mizuki Noguchi of Japan, who had stayed pretty much on Radcliffe's heels most of the race, made a bold move. Within just a couple of minutes she had about a ten plus second lead on everyone else, and the leaders began to spread out as most of them fell far behind. From there on out, Noguchi kept up the pressure, and though Kenyan Catherine Ndereba hung fairly close and gave a vailiant effort near the end, Noguchi held on for a 12 second victory and captured the gold.

Meanwhile, two other stories went on behind the scenes, so to speak. Radcliffe, the favorite to win coming in, continued to fall back and eventually dropped out altogether at mile 22.5. Knowing how hard these atheletes train, and seeing that the majority of the spectators waiting at the finish line were her fellow countrymen who had such high hopes for her, it was really sad and almost painful to watch Radcliffe stop, try to stumble forward again a few steps, stop and start again, and then finally bend over in defeat. In the last shot we saw of her, she walked over to the curb, sat down, and cried. I can't even begin to imagine the sorrow, frustration, and personal humiliation she must have felt at not only failing to bring home an Olympic medal, but not even being able to finish at all.

And yet on the uplifting side, American Deena Kastor, who at one time was as much as two minutes and twenty seconds off the lead in 18th place, put on a furious charge the last six miles as the course turned downhill. She made up 15 spots and over a minute in time as she came from nowhere to pass Elfenesh Alemu within the last couple of miles to steal away the bronze medal from the Ethiopian.

I found myself wondering if I could ever have the level of dedication these women had to put forward in order to compete on such a high level, and frankly, I'm really not sure. Also I think it's kind of funny how, in this day of gimmick TV, where flash and shock seem to be the motive operendi for all forms of entertainment media, that watching the raw emotions of people giving their all for the thrill of competition, and often only reaping the agony of seeing your life-long dreams dashed, can still be so compelling.

Maybe we can learn more than a few things from these incredible athletes.

- The WheelMan

Humbling

It's truly humbling to look at the devastation left behind by Hurricane Charley in Florida. It just proves that no matter how advanced mankind becomes, there are still, and always will be I believe, forces or powers at work beyond our control.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected, including one friend of mine who lost two family members in this tragedy.

- The WheelMan

When "Heartsongs" go silent

A couple of years ago I saw a young man who, though he was only around 11 years old, was a best selling author and poet, a well spoken, bubbly, and intelligent young man. Despite being afflicted with a rare form of muscular dystrophy, a disease which his mother had, which had already claimed his brother's life, and which would eventually take his own life, Mattie Stepanek chose to dedicate himself toward speading the message of love and peace. In a brief time he became a beacon of hope for millions around the world, and was honored and celebrated by people such as Oprah Winfrey, former President Jimmy Carter, poet Maya Angelou, and many more.

Mattie J.T. Stepanek, author of the best selling book of poetry Heartsongs, plus 3 sequels, passed away on Tuesday from complications of his disease at the age of thirteen.

Sometimes I think we as individuals underestimate the importance that each of us has, the very power and influence that the least of us can have on the world around us merely by standing proudly for what we believe in. I see so much war, so much needless death, so much spite and carelessness exhibited toward our fellow human beings for the most petty of reasons and I wonder sometimes if we human beings, who regard ourselves as the "highest" form of life on this planet, are in fact much farther down the evolutionary ladder than we will ever be humble enough to admit. There are moments when I wonder if there is truly hope for the future of mankind.

Fortunately there are people like Mattie Stepanek around to remind me and others what being human is truly all about. In his scant 13 years he accomplished more than most of us will ever even conceive of doing, and hopefully his legacy will linger among us and inspire others to follow in his footsteps. I think it's fair to say that in 13 years upon this earth, Mattie managed to have a pretty full life. And yet for the rest of my life, whenever I think of Mattie, I'll be troubled by one nagging question that'll never be answered now.

What would this young man have accomplished if he had lived to be an old man?

- The WheelMan

Thin lines

I think we forget sometimes how truly thin the line is between death and life until something happens to remind us of that fact. On Saturday morning my mother received a call from a close friend who's always been like an aunt to me. In that one phone call, my mother learned that not only had the nephew her friend was expecting had been born, but also that a couple of hours later, the friend's sister, who lived nearby, had died in a house fire. Death and life so closely entertwined that it almost sounds like a contrived and sappy Hollywood plot.

And then this morning I watched a special on cable TV about children in broken homes who suffer from abuse and neglect. Some of the children could be the sweetest things one minute, and yet turn so violent and uncontrollable the next that you have little hope for their futures. To hear a parent actually admit they're afraid of their 8-year-old is both heartbreaking and terrifying.

Some may think of it as Fate, or the Grace of God, or just the random outcome of the universal course of this thing we call Life. Either way, we tread upon such a fragile path, such a wild and wonderful, beautiful and frightening line. Perhaps if we appreciated all of the blessings and good things in life a bit more, we'd miraculously find ourselves living in a far happier and less tragic world. Or is that just a pipe dream by an eternally optimistic sentimentalist? Either way, it's an experiment I wish the entire world were willing to take part in.

I pray that both the newly born and the dearly departed find peace and happiness, wherever their journey from here on takes them.

- The WheelMan

Of partings and appreciation

Within the last three weeks, both an aunt and uncle of mine have died. Last year around this time, I discovered that my Godfather had passed after a brief battle with cancer. Has anyone ever noticed how, near the end of the year, Death seems to come a calling? Christmas is a glorious time for each of us to take pleasure in giving to others, not just of monetary things, but of our love and time as well. But it's also a time to reflect on our lives, to think about where we've been and where we want to go.

We've all heard the old cliches that "Life is precious" or that "Life is short". But perhaps an even better mantra might be "Life matters". I think too many of us take it for granted. I wish we could all learn to differentiate between the truly trivial minutiae that we waste so much of our time and energy upon, and spend it appreciating this strange, enigmatic, exciting, scary, often hard, but always worth enjoying, thing we call Life. Regardless of what your beliefs are about what happens to you when you die, the bottom line is that we all should take stock, pride, and pleasure in every second of the NOW.

Tomorrow is a hope, a desire, a dream, even an expectation, but it's certainly not a guarantee.

Okay, all these deep thoughts are starting to hurt my head.:smile I should have some more fun stuff to share soon.

TTFN

-The WheelMan

What I learned on my Myrtle Beach vacation

Got back from my trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina last Tuesday. Weather was pleasant, but the crowds were horrible. It was Atlantic Beach Biker Weekend, following on the heels of Harley Davidson Biker Weekend the weekend before. Six bikers got killed in various accidents over the Memorial Day weekend (three in one accident), 8 others died the weekend before, some people were clearly arrested and/or fined unjustly (though many more were arrested justly, I'm sure), and the cruising didn't stop til the break of dawn each day (A truly good party doesn't get started til around 3:00am, it seems).

But besides these little nuggests, there were a few other things I learned during my vacation this year:

1. Motorcycles, particularly those "ninja style" ones, come in ALL colors.
2. Women love bikers.
3. Women love riding bikes.
4. Women don't care how their rear ends look, as long as its perched on the back of a bike.
5. Men invented bike seats, because no woman would likely invent a seat that displayed their rear assets in such a, um, "prominent" fashion.
6. Women who ride bikes are very proud of aforementioned, um, assets.
7. It truly is possible to have too much, um, assets, no matter what Wall Street experts may say.
8. They make thongs in all sizes.
9. They probably shouldn't make thongs in all sizes.
10. I should sell my chair and buy a bike. :wink

-The WheelMan

Gun powder

That's how my Dad described the smell in the air outside after a particularly scary lightning strike over my home Friday night. The strike didn't come with one of those long, crackling buildups, just a single flash and pop which sounded as if it struck inside the house, with the malodorous aftermath of charred ozone. Fortunately the only casualty seems to have been my cable box, and our cable reception, thank God. But seems like we've been under the gun every day since here, with the areas north of Atlanta getting the worst of it all. Tornado threats are out there again today, though nothing like the unfortunate people in the Midwestern U.S. have experienced over the last few days. Flooding has been the biggest concern for our region, with up to five inches or more having fallen on some areas over the last couple of days. Again, I'm fortunate to not have been in those areas, and this isn't a flood area normally anyway.

It's funny. Seems like the more we humans try arrogantly to gain total control over and understanding of our environment, the more obvious it becomes just how little control we truly have. It's times like these that I wonder if mankind will ever gain full mastery of our environment, or if we even should. I mean, can we really do a better job of controlling fate than whatever deity or non-deity that normally guides such things?

My heart goes out to all those who've been directly affected by these storms, and I hope and pray that things calm down for everyone soon.

-The WheelMan

Children of Glass

Last night was the first time I actually caught the Discovery Health Channel special, "Children of Glass", which is an excellent program all about those with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, the very disease I have.

Since I've never had much contact with others who have it (except for a few who have emailed me through the Internet to say hello, whom I, stupidly, have failed to respond to at this point because I was very busy at the time, for which I'm truly sorry), it's really strange, fascinating, and kinda weird to watch. I think what sometimes people don't understand about those of us with disabilities is that inside, we feel the same as everyone else. In fact, at least for me anyway, I only feel "different" when someone stares or reacts to me in an odd way, or when I see myself in a mirror. And watching the show was very much like looking into a mirror.

I won't deny that part of me did feel uncomfortable at first, as I was once again confronted with the stark reality that I am different from others, and always will be. But then the fact that I was indeed not alone, that others do see the world through similar eyes with similar experiences was a comforting thing. Sean Stephenson, one of the people featured in the Discovery Health Channel special, "Children of Glass" special, who has a very similar degree of O.I. as me, said that he still sees himself as a vibrant, sexy man. And you know what, that really made me feel good.

Especially when I realized that I'm WAY sexier than him. :wink

-WheelMan